“Man’s life comes from God: it is his image and imprint, as sharing in his breath of life. God therefore is the sole Lord of this life: Man cannot do with it as he wills.”

Evangelium Vitae-Gospel of Life-Pope John Paul II-1995

We find ourselves in an election year and that usually means a flurry of issues begin to arise. Taxes, national security, health care, and sometimes surprisingly faith. This year there has been much press dedicated to the issues of our presidential candidates and their personal faith especially concerning issues of life and death. All of this strikes me very deeply not because of my pro-life commitment or political affiliation but because of my wife and I’s recent miscarriage of our 10 week old unborn child.

About two weeks ago we had our first official doctor’s visit for our first pregnancy checkup. We had a ultra-sound two weeks prior just to check on things and “passed” with flying colors. The baby’s size was good, heartbeat solid, implantation good. So when our Doctor performed an ultrasound and told us that she couldn’t find a heartbeat for the baby we were in disbelief. She told us that she wanted to have us come in two days later to have a trained sonographer do the ultrasound to be 100% sure. So for two days we lived in uncertainty. We became cautiously optimistic and prayed and hoped for the best but expected the worst. When we returned to the doctor’s office and had another ultrasound and the results were the same we joined a large group of people that have experienced the pain of a miscarriage.

We cried, prayed, cried some more, sat in silence, held each other, cried, prayed some more, and finished off with a good cry that day. That day very tough for us. We, as parents, lost our first child. We never had the opportunity to hold and kiss our child, but nonetheless it was our child. Now many people don’t like this concept. That a miscarriage is losing a child, but if you have the perspective that life begins at the point of conception and the an unborn child is specially ensouled by God then there is no other perspective.

I am not sure if we went through all the stages of grieving or not but we had help through the process. Anna’s father is a Deacon in our church and came over and did the blessing for a miscarriage and their parent’s prayed with us. I have had my tough points in the grieving process but I really think God has provided me with a view on this loss that has strengthened me so much.

The day before we officially found out about the miscarriage we both went to the chapel and prayed for consolation, grace, and strength to meet the upcoming news. One thing came to me in prayer and has been presented over and over to me throughout this experience. We have a God that knows our pain. We have a God that has lost a child. We have a God that knows sadness and suffering and understands deeply our human nature. This was immensely consoling for me.

After the miscarriage we sort of fell off the map and pretty much stayed to ourselves. This process was “aided” by a little storm called Hurricane Gustav. We were extremely lucky that we were spared from damage, but it did cause wide spread power outages in our area and closed schools for the rest of the week. Anna is a kindergarten teacher so it gave her a little vacation while we took in her parent during their outages and a/c issues. So after the storm we were confronted with the tough task of returning to life and confronting the onslaught of friend and co-workers with consoling words and apologies.

As we spoke with friends and acquaintances we were confronted with a thought that many people hold that can be such a dangerous concept for the grieving. “God just wanted to have another angel in Heaven” or “we just can’t understand these things and what God does…” or “well this is just part of God’s plan…” But the reality is that God did not take the life of our child. God does not “will” the death of anyone, child or adult. Death is a product of our fallen nature. We live in a world where the product of sin is death. The doctor’s have no explanation for the miscarriage. It just “happened” and “it is one of those things.” For us to think God “did” this or that he has a plan that includes the death of innocence is to think that God has some cruel desire for humanity to inflict suffering and pain upon his creation. This thought is what permeates our culture with an anger against a disconnected God that is removed from us and our situation. When the reality is we have a God who got into the thick of it. He was not only part of the suffering he embraced it and transformed it.

The reality is that life at any stage is fragile and precious. When two weeks after a clean perfect checkup our child died we encountered that sobering reality that our mortality is real. Our own life is just as fragile. With the awareness that cancer, heart attacks, and countless other diseases are floating around out there, our life isn’t as secure as we would like to think it is. Life at any stage is so precious of a gift that we really must cherish all the time we have. We also must realize that this life is just a stop on the journey. With the knowledge that we are not destined to stay here on earth it makes suffering and uncertainty bearable. When bad things happen to good people we have nothing else to hold onto except that we are not home yet. “Our hearts are restless until they rest in thee my God.” St. Augustine.

“Human life is sacred because from its beginning it involves the creative action of God and it remains for ever in a special relationship with the Creator, who is its sole end. ”

Catechism of the Catholic Church (# 2258)

Life is so fragile. It is something that is hand crafted and stands at the intersection of life and death. We are precious at any point or stage in our life. A unborn child’s life is worth exactly the same as a 10, 20, or 60 year old. That our dignity is not caught up in our ability to “do” but in our ability to “be”. That the act of living is enough to deem our respect and dignity. This is why life, abortion, end of life, death penalty, and the war are so central to this election recently. And all not, just one are important to the discussion. But LIFE is what is important, in and out of the media, in politics, at work, in your homes. We should be guarding each other’s fragile lives and thanking God for such beautiful creations as the human person. If someone supports abortion in whatever stage, form, circumstances they are contrary to life. If someone treats a co-worker with disdain and belittlement they are contrary to life. If a parent cares more about their television show than their child they are contrary to life. Life, human life especially, is the special touch of God on Creation. The Word, spoken into being, spoke us into existence. Life is so fragile and worth so very much.

No related posts.

The picture above is from what has become one of our favorite stops in Montreal. It is a Canada coffee shop called “Second Cup”. It is a chain but is a pretty nice little place. Their espresso is really smooth and doesn’t taste bitter at all. We would probably be frequenting our neighborhood Starbucks if they were corporate run stores (no discount from licensed stores). Also they don’t have free wireless access.

We have been under alot of flack from people recently about our internet activity during our honeymoon and we just want to pass on that WE ARE ENJOYING OURSELVES! We have seen alot of Montreal and are heading to Quebec tomorrow. The city is really interesting and we have seen some cool places. The food stops that our travel guide has recommended haven’t disappointed us yet. The food has been awesome! But Anna and I realize that we are internet people. We check email, we surf the net, facebook, and research gobs of info (such as weather, travel spots, and other tidbits of useful Canadian knowledge). We also were so unbelievably anxious to check out some wedding pictures from Jason Cohen, our wedding photographer’s blog that we had to find some suitable internet.

So if you see us on facebook, twitter, gchat, my blog, whatever…we are just getting our daily fix. We can’t wait to get back to the states and pass on the jewels of our trip!

Thanks,
Daniel & Anna Kedinger

No related posts.